The Avatar’s Dilemma.
It sucks being the avatar, because you have to be the bridge between the spirit world and the physical world. When you have to make decisions for the good of both those worlds, it often happens that neither of them really like you, because they both feel cheated by your split loyalty. That’s how being a follower of Christ is, with one foot in one world and the other in the opposite. Not a Christian though. Christians make the same mistake the Jedi did at the end of the clone wars. The Jedi served the Temple, and not the Force. And the Jedi were training to fight enemies to the temple, raising armies and training their young in combat, where the real threat was the one person, a threat to the force, and they were completely vulnerable. My frustration with the United States is that all of our defense and intelligence and government is poised to defend us from prey, and not predators. Prey animals find safety in groups, size, large numbers. Predators don’t need numbers. They don’t need resources. They don’t even need allies. Predators use different tactics than prey.
When I was 13 years old I made a bet. The bet I made was that I could stake my life and livelihood on the long term supremacy of the United States. A decade later, I think I am about to fold, leave what I had bet at the table, and move on. What I stand to gain by staying in the game is not worth what I stand to lose. I’m halfway done with my contract now, and my heart isn’t here anymore. My body is, but my passions aren’t. I no longer feel any pride or respect for my uniform aside from honoring those who died in it. War comes as a result of someone wanting and not having. There is no just war. There is no moral obligation to support it. I have been propagandized to and lied to my whole life. I owe nothing to these people. I do not owe them my life to defend borders that they gained by killing others.
A follower of Christ sees beyond borders. Beyond leaders. Beyond powers. I have submitted a conscientious objection application to the bearing of arms in service of my country, but not to be discharged. I want to honor the agreement I made to myself, I don’t particularly care what these honor less people say about my honor. I make my own honor. I have been a slave to the approval of men in uniform. Thugs. Brutes. Men that believe that might makes right. Men that believe honor is found externally, in what you wear and what others say about you. I am afraid of what will happen when I am not under the protecting of those thugs though. What happens in two years when I take this uniform off and suddenly I am subject to their power once again? What happens when I make myself vulnerable by living outside of their protection? I don’t know. But I do know that I won’t live believing the lies they tell themselves anymore.